The book Girls’ Ministry 101, by Whitney Prosperi, offers a great suggestion — create a “scoop sheet” (pg. 77-80). A scoop sheet is a list of questions girls can expound upon that will give you an idea where each girl is in their relationships with each other, their parents, their walk with the Lord, and what areas they would like accountability. Create your own questionnaire or buy the book and photocopy the sample worksheet. Girls’ Ministry 101 is a great resource for all leaders of teen girls and offers many more outstanding ideas.

Hand out the questionnaire as girls enter your small group and allow some time for them to fill them out. Assure them they can be as honest or as vague as they want in their responses and that they can get the most or as little out of the activity as they want. Let them know that the ultimate purpose of the activity is to be able to more strategically pray for them during the week.

Check out Whitney Prosperi’s book, Girls’ Ministry 101.

I flew into Minneapolis on that Friday afternoon and my parents, sister, and I jumped into the van and headed to Wisconsin for a little R & R at the cabin. My sister and I shared a set of headphones — each getting one ear bud — and watched DVDs on her laptop the whole way there while my mom looked back inquisitively when our laughter and snorting would break the silence. There’s nothing like reverting back to childhood after a long stint of being an adult!

We all need to do that with God too. After a long stint of working hard to juggle relationships, housework, jobs, volunteer work, careers, church activities, and trying to hang the moon, it’s wonderful to take some time to go to your happy place and be with your Father God. To let Him hug you, encourage you, speak of plans for the future, and spoil you. To enjoy hanging out and talking like you don’t normally do with all of the other distractions in your life.

Take some time for yourself. Go to your happy place. Carve out a day to go for a nature walk by yourself. Get a hotel overnight a few miles outside of town. Arrange for some “Camp Grandma” time while you have a night or two to yourself or with your husband. Take some time to rejuvinate yourself and rededicate yourself to God. You’ll probably find that your attitude, your energy, and your outlook on life will much better after hitting the “restart” button!

Here are some verses to meditate on:

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him”’ (Lamentations 3:22-24, NIV).

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31, NIV).

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:14-19, NIV).

But it’s really upsetting when they let us down. If only we could have been there when Miley Cyrus was rehearsing her new music video, “Can’t Be Tamed.” We could have told her not to do it and that she didn’t need to rush out of her adolescent years by putting on such a provocative persona. We could have given her some other ideas for song lyrics and costume design. How could she do that without asking us how that would affect the teen girls who adore her? And Lindsey Lohan …The Parent Trap was an adorable movie. She took on a few other acting roles and they were great. She had so much potential. Then she changed … and took to drinking and crazy parties. And let’s not even talk about the trauma the Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt split caused.

The crazy lives of our American celebrities can create some interesting talking points with the girls you lead. Don’t shy away from those conversations. Stay up with current events of pop culture so you know what your girls might be digesting. If you notice a lot of conversation about Miley’s new music video, who the Jonas brothers are dating, the drama on the Gossip Girl, or Justin Bieber’s new tattoo, it might be time to have an intervention.

If you’re looking for a fun diversion for your girls from your normal routine this summer, a good book to consider is Idol Girls, by Hayley DiMarco. It addresses the passions every teen girl has and helps her identify which ones might be becoming idols. It takes a look at what could be holding our girls back from true happiness and explains how to find freedom from those idols — idols like the cute celebrity guys they fantasize about and the gorgeous celebrity girls they want to be like. With many references back to Scripture this is a good way for your girls to get a biblical reality check on their obsessions with today’s pop culture.

Here are some techniques for handling various behaviors you might encounter:

The Shy Girl: Try pulling her aside before your group discussion or talking to her outside of your small group. Ask her how she would feel about being called on to give a response or to prayer for one of the requests at the end. This will allow you to see what she’s comfortable with and will help her relax and maybe open up on her own if she knows you won’t single her out before she’s ready. While you’re talking to her, ask her if there are ways she might like to participate during a conversation that won’t make her uncomfortable.

The Conversation Monopolizer: The words “that’s a good point — does anyone else have something to say?” will be your best friend. You might call on specific people to answer a question rather than opening the floor for discussion. You might also say, “So-and-so, you’ve had some good points tonight — let’s see if someone else has something they’d like to say.” If none of those tactics work, find a time to gently pull her aside, affirming her by telling her you appreciate her participation and the insight she brings, but explain that you need to draw the other girls into the conversation as well. Most likely, she doesn’t realize she’s doing it and will be appreciative in the long run that you pointed out that tendency.

The Bunny Trail: We’re girls. It’s inevitable that at least once during your discussion you’ll have to bring everyone back from the bunny trail of unrelated conversations. Try phrases like, “That sounds like a great topic to move on to in a few minutes” or “That’s a really interesting point, but why don’t we get back to the lesson.” With a group of teen girls, you might consider beginning your small group with plenty of time for chit-chat so that they get it out of their systems and can focus on the task at hand.

Miss Negativity: Try to help her see the other side of the issue by saying, “That’s one way to look at it, but how else could you respond in that situation?” After a negative response, try asking another group member if they agree with that statement. There’s a chance that hearing a challenging but positive point of view from one of her peers might offer a “check” in her negative attitude.

Remember, God placed each of these girls in your group at this time and for a specific purpose. Your group will not be the same even if just one of them left. So pray for grace and the words to say as you gently, spiritually, and strategically guide the girls in your small group.

If you’ve worked with adolescent girls for any length of time, you’ve probably noticed how much they like to talk. When leading my small group, I like to allow plenty of time up front for girls to be able to talk about what’s going on in their lives. Not only will it give them a chance to get some of their news-sharing out of their system, but you’ll also be more aware of what girls are going through and what might be important areas to study together. Eventually, I’ll let them know that we’re heading into the lesson or discussion. As we talk through the lesson, I still have to remind them to keep their comments focused on our topic, but they’re much more willing to focus after they’ve had time to talk.

As you work to help your girls stay engaged, I would definitely recommend looking at our resource pages for Friends and Girls Only. Even if you’re not using the Friends or Girls Only curriculum, these pages have loads of project ideas and discussion questions. Doing something other than sitting around and talking is always beneficial in helping girls engage with what you’re talking about. Plus it will help girls of a variety of learning styles stay focused.

Another great resource to consider are the Hot Topics, which are biblically-based discussion guides on issues that are relevant and important to girls today. If you’re finding that girls are having difficulty engaging in what you’re talking about and are focusing on issues that are more current trends, try taking a break from your normal small group routine and discussing a Hot Topic available here.

As you work with girls allow the Holy Spirit to guide you as you lead discussions and seek to mentor and disciple your girls.

However, planning a celebration can be kind of a daunting task. You can find guidelines for hosting a Celebration in your church here. Also, here are a few fun ideas for making Celebration special:

·       Have the honoree’s parents walk her down the aisle to the platform or have a younger girl walk her to the platform with her parents sitting or standing behind her on the platform.

·       Use an aisle runner with the colors of the club from which she is graduating. If you’re having trouble finding the right color combination, try using a roll of wallpaper. Flowers are always a nice touch, but balloons, tulle, and twinkle lights can be beautiful and cost-effective.

·       Play an audio clip of the girl speaking about her time in the club or a memory about her time in girls clubs as she walks down the aisle.

·       Prepare a slide that lists all of her accomplishments during her time in girls clubs that runs while she is walking down the aisle.

·       Read her the charge for her club (which can be found in the Sponsor Guide). Have her parents present a special ring to commemorate her graduation.

·       Go through the Club Distinctives with the congregation and give a brief explanation of their meaning.

·       Allow a sponsor to say or read a special word about the girl and her time in girls clubs.

·       Hold a special reception after the celebration. Display the Friends curriculum and pictures of her time in girls clubs.

During the celebration at my local church when I was growing up, a few of our leaders got together and made a slide show of our time in girls clubs. It was a complete surprise for my friends and I and it was so meaningful to see pictures of all of us growing up together that we hadn’t seen before.

Again, remember that your celebration can be whatever you want it to be. Celebrations at the local church should reflect the individuality of your clubs and the girls you are honoring.

Take it outside.  Since your girls are daydreaming about the beautiful weather, move your small group outside.  Let your girls go for a walk, play a game outside, or just sit in the grass and talk.  The most boring of topics will take on new meaning with fresh air.

Do something for someone else.  The nice weather provides ample opportunities for outdoor ministry.  Organize a clean-up day at church, pick up trash at a park, or help church members with yard work.  The girls will enjoy working together and feel good after a day of helping someone else.

Focus on Relationships.  Not being in school can provide more opportunities for spending time having fun and getting to know one another.  Take this time to get to know girls and encourage their relationships with one another.  Plan sleepovers, mini golf outings, picnics, and other activities to mix things up.

Encourage Summer Reading.  No school means no required reading.  Long road trips and lounging by the pool can be a great time to read a thought-provoking book.  Choose a book to read and discuss together or be ready to suggest books for your girls to read as an alternative to gossip magazines or other popular books. 

Summer can be a great time to help your girls take the next step in their relationship with God while they’re free from the distractions of school and many of their extracurricular activities.  Enjoy your sunny days with your girls!

One of the questions I get asked most frequently is some variation on “How do I get my youth pastor to understand that girls clubs are important?” Working with a youth pastor (or with any other ministry in your church) can be complicated, but it can be incredibly beneficial when it’s done well.

Remember that the girls in your group don’t belong to you. They don’t belong to your youth pastor either. They belong to God and our aim should be to partner with parents, youth ministry, and any other ministry that affects your girls to create well-rounded girls who are discipled, growing, and committed. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you work with others in your church to reach your girls.

Communicate. Do your best to keep you youth pastor in the loop about what your girls are studying, what events you’re planning, and if there’s something going on with one of the girls that he or she should be aware of. You can be each other’s greatest ally, but you have to talk. Email, talk on the phone, and touch base when you see each other at church.

Coordinate. Make sure you keep youth event dates in mind when you’re planning your calendar. Plan events so that girls won’t have to choose between youth events and girls group events. Also, talk to your youth pastor about topics or themes he or she plans to cover in the coming months. If it’s possible, choose to work through units that will compliment what the girls are studying in youth.

Cooperate. Remember that you’re on the same team. So often girls ministry and youth ministry can seem to be in competition with one another, but really, you’re both working toward the same goal. You both want to see your girls grow in God. Volunteer to help with youth events, become a youth sponsor, or consider making girls groups the small groups for your youth ministry.

Commune. On a practical level, build a relationship with your youth pastor. Offer to babysit, have him or her over for dinner, or meet for coffee. Being in ministry can be an incredibly lonely place, so let those who are ministering with you know how much you appreciate what they do.

As you work together, partner, share resources, and encourage one another, the girls in your community will benefit from your teamwork!

However, it is important to teach our girls to turn to the Bible to find answers to today’s tough questions. Teen Girl Ministries has developed several Hot Topic discussion guides to help you lead your girls in talking about issues they care about. Here are a few of the Hot Topics you might find helpful during this lovey-dovey time of year.

Sex before marriage. Nearly 88 percent of girls who take a purity pledge will not be virgins when they get married. This Hot Topic leads girls in defining immoral sexual behavior and helps girls think practically about remaining pure in an overly sexualized culture.

Alternative lifestyles. This Hot Topic covers the issue of homosexuality and tolerance. Girls can determine what the Bible says regarding homosexuality and discuss how Christians should respond to homosexuals.

Guy-girl relationships. We stress the importance of purity in dating relationships with our girls, but purity in friendships with guys is also important. This Hot Topic challenges girls to handle themselves with purity and grace in relationships with the opposite gender.

These are just three of the many Hot Topics offered for free download on the TGM website. For these Hot Topics and more visit www.tgm.ag.org/hottopics.

That’s an excellent question! During the Girls Ministries conference there will be a workshop track focused on ministry to teen girls. We’ll offer workshops on the basics of Teen Girl Ministries, refreshing your Friends and Girls Only clubs, responding to the Twilight phenomenon, and raising nice girls in a mean girl world (just to name a few).

One of the excellent workshop presenters for the TGM track will be Ashley Hicks. Ashley is the founder of PINC ministries and travels the country speaking to girls about purity and finding their identity in Christ. Ashley will present two workshops in the TGM track.

Practical Purity~
In this workshop, you will learn relevant tips on teaching your girls how to commit their lives to total purity.  Topics range from dating, how far is too far, and the influence of the media. Get tips on the best approach, Scriptures, and creative tools for teaching on the topic of purity.

Keeping the Secret: Living Modestly~
In a “skin is in” generation, girls face pressures like never before to dress and act promiscuous to feel beautiful. If you want exciting, successful new ways to address this important topic with your girls, this is the workshop for you!

Register online for the conference at www.CMAConferences.com today!