There’s something about getting away (even for a day) that serves as a catalyst for developing relationships, making memories, or deepening your relationship with the Lord. Planning a retreat for your girls doesn’t have to be stressful and elaborate. Keeping plans simple will help keep costs low for your girls and provide a fun getaway for everyone! Here are a few ideas for planning a retreat with your girls:

Pick a topic. Hosting a retreat based around a single topic can make planning easy. Focus on purity and invite a local pregnancy care center representative to come talk to your girls. Plan an event around friendships and ask a mature woman from your church to talk about conflict resolution. Do a relationship retreat and bring in a male pastor or another trustworthy, mature men from your church to talk with the girls about what guys are really thinking and how to handle friendships with guys.

Pick a location. Even getting a few miles out of town can seem like a vacation. It can help the girls leave some of their problems at home and free them up to focus on what’s happening at your retreat. If you’ve got a smaller group or a leader with a large house, hosting an event in a home can create an intimate and safe environment. Renting a lake house or cabin can be a great, affordable option with lots of amenities for taking a break and having fun. Reserving a suite or block of rooms in a hotel can be another great option. Staying at a hotel can be a really special event for many of your girls.

Pick an event. If you don’t want to plan a topic for discussion or invite a guest speaker, choose an event to focus on. Take your girls to a bigger city to go shopping, go to a concert or music festival, or spend a day at an amusement park. Choose an event that your girls will enjoy, that you’re comfortable planning, and that fits the personality of your group.As you head out of town, you’ll be amazed at how quickly girls will leave their problems at home and start developing friendships with one another. Enjoy your time away and keep things simple!

Summer provides a lot of opportunities for outdoor events that aren’t as much fun any other time of the year. Swim parties, barbeques, and bocce ball tournaments aren’t quite as much fun in winter. However, doing the same events summer after summer can get a little boring for both the planners and attendees. Here are a few ideas for fun summer events:

Utilize resources. Ask around within your church for families that would be willing to host an outdoor youth event at their home. There may be couples and individuals who care about your youth ministry, but simply don’t have the time during the school year to devote to being a youth leader. Hosting a bonfire, volleyball tournament, croquet extravaganza, or picnic during the summer might be something they’re willing to do.

Mix it up. A youth group mini golf outing might start to lose some of its glamour after the 38^th time. However, if you play in teams with free ice cream for the highest and lowest scoring teams, it might put a little of the spark back in the game. Try having  a roller skating rink in your church parking lot and sell ice cream and cold drinks as a Speed the Light fundraiser. Watch a Nooma video and have discussion outside to mix things up. Offer popcorn, popsicles, and drinks for free or as a fundraiser.

Ask around. Summer fun doesn’t have to mean spending $35 per person to go to an amusement park. Call around to see what parks, pools, and golf courses offer group or non-profit reduced rates. Don’t be afraid to ask for a better deal either. If students in your group are strapped for cash, have a car wash or offer scholarships to help cover some of the costs.

Some of my fondest memories from growing up in youth group resulted from us being stranded on the side of the road with a broken bus or took place while traveling to our destination. Whatever fun events you plan this summer, remember that it rarely matters what you do, it matters that you do it together. Try to keep a positive attitude that your students can imitate. With a little creativity, you can make any situation fun and memorable for your group!

Summer is officially here. I’ve seen sunburned noses everywhere, I almost broke a sweat on the way out to my car at 7:00 AM, and our Sunday morning crowd is missing the boat owners. Summer can be a tough time for ministry. Attendance is sporadic due to vacations, camps, and sunny weather. However, summer can also be a great time to focus on relationships and challenge girls to deepen their relationships with the Lord.

Over the next couple of weeks we’re going to highlight some great ideas for cheap summer event ideas that will help your girls build relationships as well as some great ideas for challenging your girls to use their summer free time to grow in their relationship with God.This time, we’re going to focus on the classic summer field day event. It might seem simple, but some of the most fun summer events I’ve had with my girls involved games common to elementary school field days. Here are a few of the most fun games we’ve tried:

Water relays. Relays are great. Water in summer is refreshing. Combine the two, and you’ve got a recipe for a great summer game. Here’s a link to a few of my favorites. Not only will the girls have fun, but a strategically contstructed team roster can help newer girls connect.

Slip N Slide. If you’ve got a slightly sloped back yard to use, a slip n slide can create hours of fun. You can either buy a slip n slide or make your own. Just make sure you’ve got plenty of water and you clear the path to ensure girls don’t run into anything as they’re sliding.

Water fight. There really is nothing like a big water fight on a hot day. Have the girls bring their own water balloons, buckets, and squirt guns or provide a few for each girl. If you’re feeling a little non-traditional, start with a shaving cream fight and end with a water fight to clean up.

Recess games. The old standard kickball, soccer, or football are fun, but can be made even more fun with a twist to the rules. Try playing kickball with a giant beach ball, three-legged soccer, or flag football with a soaked sponge.

When playing water games, make sure the girls know to wear a swimsuit underneath clothes they don’t mind getting wet. Make sure girls bring towels, provide plenty of water for playing and drinking, and pray for sunny weather. Be creative and don’t be afraid to make up your own games and rules. Enjoy the outdoors and watch for more ideas for summer ministry over the next couple of weeks!

This is the time of year when things change. Not only are the days growing longer and kids getting antsy to be free from school, but it’s also graduation time. For youth leaders this means some girls graduated into the next age group, and others move on to the next stage of life.  

Graduating and moving on means honoring those girls by preserving memories made throughout their time in our clubs, youth groups, and small groups. Here are a few creative ideas for creating something girls can treasure for years to come. 

Framed Pictures

Something as simple as a framed picture can be incredibly meaningful to the girls who are moving on. A frame like this one or this one are great, timeless ways to display a picture of your group. 

Another idea would be to create a customized frame for your girls. The younger girls in your group could make a frame like this or this that would serve as a really special way to display the picture. 

Video

Slide shows and video clips are always a really great way to take a walk down memory lane with your girls. If you’re having a formal graduation celebration for your girls, surprising them with a video or slideshow of memories could be really meaningful. Talk to parents and leaders to compile pictures from girls growing up, with friends from the group, and doing fun activities.  

If the girls are graduating from high school, it’s always fun to compare baby pictures with girls’ senior pictures, too. This could also be a great way to announce to the congregation or youth group the girls’ plans after graduation. 

Written Note

Some of my most treasured possessions are notes and cards I’ve saved from meaningful people throughout my life. Writing something special to your students or allowing all of the girls in your group to sign a card will be a great way to let the girls moving on know how special they were to your group.  

Displaying the card with a picture in a frame like this one could be a really special reminder of her time in your group. 

Memory Book

If you or parents in your group are into scrapbooking, creating a memory book for your girls is a really special gift to give to girls. If you’re not particularly crafty, try making a photo book digitally  like this or this. These books can be created digitally. The websites are user-friendly, and if you’re ordering more than one book, you’ll usually get a pretty hefty discount. 

Not only is this a great way to share pictures, but it’s also a great opportunity to write a special note to your girls. These books will be a great way to showcase memories. 

In the fall, there will be a new class moving up and a new normal will emerge, but now is the time to honor girls who’ve developed relationships, achieved goals, and grown up before our very eyes.

Nearly any time I go on a long trip alone, hit bad weather, or I get separated from a friend in a crowd, I thank God for my cell phone. It provides me with safety, and a convenient way to stay in touch with friends and family members who are far away.

However, the convenience of cell phones and increased communication technology has not been completely positive. Not only have we become addicted to our phones and technology, but it’s opened new horizons for immorality.

It’s difficult to turn on any mainstream news channel without hearing about teenagers sexting (using their cell phones to send nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves or someone else). Though up to 25% of teens admit to participating in sexting, we as youth leaders and parents are not without hope. ONCOURSE published a great article on the topic that provides information on what it is, how to prevent it, and how to address it in your youth group.

Recently, I heard someone say that everyone is either going through a crisis, recovering from a crisis, or preparing to go through a crisis. With some teenagers, it seems like these phases can all occur during the course of a single day. With other students, it can seem like the full-blown crisis phase lasts throughout the teen years.

For teenagers, a crisis can be something as seemingly insignificant as forgetting to bring home a textbook needed to complete an assignment or as life-altering as experiencing  the suicide of a friend. As leaders, it can be tempting to shrug off the more insignificant crises, but those things we deem rather insignificant from the standpoint of adulthood are incredibly significant to the teenager dealing with the issue.

At the same time, it can be difficult to know how to effectively deal with the more life-changing crises. There really is no way to anticipate a crisis and if you try to prepare for possible crisis instigators, you could spend years studying about one issue.

 A great resource for the anticipation, guiding a teenager through, and assisting in the recovery of a crisis is A Youth Leader’s Guide to Helping Teenagers in Crisis and A Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers in Crisis. These great resources offer information, guidance, and support for parents and leaders as they help adolescents navigate through the crisis-riddled teen years.

There comes a time in every scholar’s life when she catches a disease. She realizes there’s a light at the end of the educational tunnel. As she nears the end of the school year, that light gets brighter and brighter until it overshadows her and soon the motivation that had propelled her through all of her projects, assignments, and study sessions suddenly seems irrational and she starts to decelerate.

It happens slowly at first, a prompt student will start turning in assignments after the due date, a neat student will start to get sloppy, and even the most committed students will start to slack off. Eventually she’ll hit a wall and almost completely check out.

She may still be physically present, but mentally and emotionally she’s focused on her future and spending the rest of her time with friends. As the weather gets nicer, hope for regaining motivation and concentration is futile.

We call this disease Senioritis. Here are a few tips for making accommodations for girls in your group who suffer from Senioritis:

Enjoy your time together. She’s right. She doesn’t have much time left as a high school student. She won’t be in your group forever, so enjoy the time you have with her. Honor the girls in your group who will be graduating – throw parties, plan special outings, and express how much you’ve appreciated having these girls as part of your group.

Embrace it. Let’s face it, it’s hard to concentrate when the weather gets nice. I’ve been out of high school for several years, and I still self-diagnose Senioritis every May. Achievement isn’t everything. Spend time as a group enjoying existing relationships and developing new friendships. Go outside to have your discussion or play a game.

Engage leaders. These girls are headed into a new phase of life and many of them will be leaving their familiar church and will be charged with the daunting task of finding a new church to call home. If girls feel engaged in leadership in their home church, being a leader in a new church will feel more natural. Allow girls in your group to teach lessons, lead discussions, or take on other leadership tasks within your group. The more they feel like leaders, the more likely they are to stay engaged in your group until they graduate.

Though the only documented cure for Senioritis is graduation, the above treatments have been successful in some trials, so all is not lost.

Have you ever felt completely lost in a conversation between teenagers? They’re talking, using normal words, and then it seems that they start to speak their own teenager language. You’re not sure if “blogging” is a crude term, if “facebooking” someone should require medical attention, and you thought Edward Cullen was a real-life dreamboat from school only to find out he’s a fictional vampire which leaves you wondering why the girls all have crushes on a figure who would have given you nightmares as a teenager.

The girls in your group were born after the Berlin Wall fell, were in elementary school on September 11, and were probably born while Hilary Clinton was still the First Lady. They learned how to navigate the Internet at the same age you were taught to use the telephone, aren’t allowed to take peanut butter sandwiches to school, and learn about the Vietnam War in their American History classes. They have probably never used a phone anchored to the wall with a spiral phone cord, had to get up to move the dial to change the channel on the TV, or ridden in a car without seatbelts.

If you ever feel like you don’t speak their language, like you’re out of touch with their culture, or like your ministry to them isn’t as relevant as you’d like it to be, Earl Creps’ book Reverse Mentoring is an excellent resource.In Reverse Mentoring, Earl Creps explains how older leaders can learn valuable cultural insights from younger leaders and how these insights can translate into a more effective ministry to young people. Reverse Mentoring offers practical guidelines on developing a reverse mentorship relationship. In learning how to adapt to culture, you can stay relevant and culturally-savvy for years to come.

The message of the gospel does not change, however, the language in which that message is communicated is constantly changing. Reverse Mentoring can be a great resource for you as you adapt your communication to match that of generations to come.

When I’m with the girls in my small group, there usually comes a time in the lesson or discussion when I see a look come over the girls. It’s the look that says “You’ve lost me,” “I’m not thinking about what we’re talking about anymore,” or “I’m sorry, what was the question?”
It’s usually about that time that I like to use some illustration from my personal experience to draw them back in, reengage them, or help clarify what we’re talking about. Teenagers identify with stories, and the more personal the more they identify. While they tend to get lost in broad generalizations or stories about groups of people, they connect with a personal story.

Sometimes it can be difficult to determine what story will best illustrate what we’re talking about, how the girls will understand the story, and what’s too much information to share with the girls. Here are a few guidelines for deciding what to share.

Be authentic. Share with your girls from your own experience. Don’t only share your successes, but also from your weaknesses, times you’ve failed, or your struggles. Girls can appreciate leaders who are willing to admit that they have depth. As they encounter struggles, they’ll appreciate having leaders to look up to who have gone through struggles and allowed God to use them.

Share the stage. It’s not always necessary to share from your own experience. If the discussion is going well, staying on topic, and the girls are sharing, you probably don’t need to share a chapter from your autobiography, but if the girls are having trouble grasping a concept or aren’t opening up, sharing one of your life lessons could be very beneficial. Allow plenty of time for the girls to tell their own stories.

Go deep. I’ve found that in our group, the girls will usually only go as deep as the leaders are willing to go. It’s important to go beyond surface-level sharing into sharing deeper things God is speaking. Often, girls will follow your lead and begin to deepen their level of discussion.

Exercise wisdom. When you’re preparing to share from your own experience, it’s important to be genuine and share from your own weaknesses and questions, but it’s also important to be wise in what you share with your girls. Consider their maturity level and your own motivation for sharing before you open up. If you share from your struggles, be sure to talk about how God worked in your situation. Though you can’t anticipate how girls will interpret what you say, do your best to communicate clearly and provide more explanation if the girls have questions.

Enjoy getting to know your girls. They appreciate learning about you as they learn from you. If they don’t remember every lesson you ever teach them, they will remember how you live and the relational investment you make in them.

For my fifth birthday, I got a beautiful big girl bike. It was purple and pink with beautiful pink tires. It also had training wheels. That summer, I rode my bike all around our cul-de-sac. I even talked my mom into buying some beautiful neon beads to snap in my spokes. However, I quickly realized that training wheels were, in fact, not cool. They were cramping my style in a major way and they needed to go.

I had been doing pretty well with the training wheels (much to my chagrin), so my dad decided it was probably time to try taking off the training wheels and giving it a go.

I was so excited I could hardly stand still (which, I’m told, was a pretty constant state-of-being for me as a child). I could envision myself riding around the neighborhood, my hair blowing in the wind and winning all of the impromptu races with the neighborhood kids. I even saw myself riding my beautiful bike in the time-trials for the Olympic Games with one of those cute American flags attached to my seat as a license plate.

Being a man of wisdom, my dad took me out into our back yard discerning that falling on the grass would probably be safer than falling on the sidewalk or losing control and swerving off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic.

I was disappointed that it didn’t go quite as smoothly as I’d imagined. At first, my dad wouldn’t let go of my seat. I was convinced he was the one causing me to be imbalanced. When he finally did let go, I fell quite a bit.

However, after a couple of days, a few scraped knees, grass stains, bald spots on my dad’s lawn, and a few more gray hairs on my dad’s head, I finally figured it out.

My dad explained, quite patiently and lovingly considering how frustrated I had become at his inadequacy as a bicycling instructor (clearly, I’d have to find a different coach if I planned to make it to the 1992 games in Barcelona), that if I kept moving forward, it would help me maintain my balance. If I focused on moving rather than my fear of falling, I’d be able to balance.

After a few failed attempts, I finally took his advice and concentrated on moving forward. Soon, I was biking all around our cul-de-sac and reveling in my training-wheel-free existence.

My dad’s advice was pretty revolutionary in my journey as a cyclist. His advice also applies to my life today. I get frustrated trying to find balance in my life. Often, I find myself so worried about falling and failing that I forget to keep my eyes focused forward. It’s when I take my eyes off the Lord that I’m at the highest risk for losing my balance and falling.

Though I never did make it to the Olympic Games, I haven’t forgotten how to ride a bike. I’m told you never forget, but it’s pretty easy to forget to keep my eyes focused on God. On a daily basis, I have to remind myself not to worry so much about failing, but to keep moving forward, focused on God’s goodness and love for me.