We are pleased to launch the official National Girls Ministries Forum!

 Our goal is to facilitate a ministry network where district Girls Ministries directors, local Mpact Girls Clubs, TGM, and general Girls Ministries leaders can share ideas, resources, comments, prayer requests, encouragement, or simply find a place to connect with other leaders across the country.

The forum will also provide a point of contact with the NGM staff and will serve as a channel of communication to disseminate information and updates to you in a timely fashion.  We believe this forum will place valuable resources at your fingertips as you glean from the creativity and experience of other NGM leaders.

Join the group at http://forums.ag.org/ngm

Enjoy your connection!

I am an unabashed supporter of my alma mater Evangel University.  One of the things I appreciated the most about attending a Christian liberal arts school was the challenge to test, challenge, define, and own my personal faith. 

One of the books that had an enormous impact on this process was Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster.  This book was required reading during my first semester of college.  Because it was required reading written before I was born by a guy I’d never heard of, I initially wrote it off as something that was probably too boring to actually read, but because it was my first semester, I decided to get off to the right start and really read the book.

As soon as I started reading, I realized how practical and applicable this book was.  This book helped me to establish a pattern early on in my college life of spending consistent time with the Lord.

This spring, my fellow small group leaders and I started talking about books to do with our girls group for the summer.  When I thought of the most influential books in my own spiritual life, I immediately thought of Celebration of Discipline.  Initially, I thought it might be a little too deep for summer reading for teenage girls.

We decided to forge ahead.  Our girls have really enjoyed our discussions.  It’s been fun to watch them eat up the principles in this book.

If you haven’t read this book yet, I highly recommend it.  If you’ve already read it, it’s definitely worth reading again.  It’s also a great book for girls who are really wanting to forge ahead and move deeper in their relationship with the Lord.

A couple of weeks ago, I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend at home. I’d rented a few movies, bought a brand new book, and didn’t plan on leaving the comfort of my home unless absolutely necessary.

When I got home on the dawn of my weekend of relaxation, I heard a subtle beep. I checked my cell phone to see if I’d missed a call. Strange. No missed call. I thought maybe my ears had been playing tricks on me. About a minute later, I heard the same subtle beep. I tried to follow the sound.

After several minutes of following the sound, I discovered the culprit. Much to my dismay, I found myself at the end of the hallway near my bedroom, directly under the smoke detector. Beep… Beep…

OK, I thought to myself, I’m an adult. It’s probably just a dead battery, right? I can handle this. I had to leave the house anyway, so I picked up a battery on the way home (a two-pack, just in case).

I deftly changed the battery and pressed reset. Time to relax.

Beep.

It can’t be! I quickly exchanged battery number one for battery number two. Reset and…beep.

I removed the cover only to find that the smoke detector had a lot of ominous looking wires. I didn’t feel very confident with my electrical skills, so I thought disconnecting any wiring probably wouldn’t end well.

Maybe it’s not so bad, I thought. The beeping wasn’t very loud from the living room. I decided to sleep on the couch. It couldn’t possibly keep me awake all night.

Actually, it could. And it did.

The next morning, I looked at the culprit accusingly with bloodshot eyes. This was war. I tried everything I knew to try. I played with the circuit box, I tried the other battery, and I tried holding down the reset button at varying lengths of time. I tried to call the fire department. Because it was the weekend, there was no answer, and the all-too-pleasant voice on the answering machine said it could take up to two weeks. Two weeks? I was pretty sure my sanity would be long gone if this went on for two weeks. I even tried praying that the smoke detector would stop beeping “In the name of Jesus!” I know the Lord could have put me out of my misery, but I think He may have wanted me to learn something from this blessed event. (Go figure!)

I was down to my last nerve. I decided to try to freshen up and ignore the noise. I turned on a worship CD (even though I didn’t much feel like worshipping the Lord if He was choosing not to deliver me from my trials – remember my sleep deprivation at this point). As the music started to play, I realized that I couldn’t really hear the beeping noise above the music.

In hindsight, I’m reminded of Isaiah 30:21 (NIV) “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’”

We have a choice in what we listen to. I could have listened to the deathly beeping sound for the rest of the weekend and ended up with little sleep and a crummy attitude. Instead, I listened to music (and later even a movie) that caused the annoying beeping sound to go away. When we focus on the voice of the Lord encouraging and guiding us, it becomes easier to tune out the negative, distracting voices.

So, what are you listening to?

The rest of the story: I found out a couple of days later that I had been fiddling with the wrong smoke detector. There are four smoke detectors in close proximity to one another in our upstairs hallway blocked from view by doorframes. I was, unfortunately, unaware of this helpful little tidbit of information until it was a little too late. So, I’ve been able to sleep peacefully once again in the comfort of my own bed.

It’s so easy to get caught up in preparing interesting lessons, planning creative activities, and trying to stay on top of the latest trends in teen culture that sometimes I find myself forgetting what I’m really doing. At the heart of it all, I’m in this to see girls’ lives changed for Jesus Christ.

The point isn’t to be the most trendy, fun, and exciting ministry. It’s to see lives changed, to see girls encounter God.

The tricky thing is we really can’t make this happen in our own power. As much as we plan and prepare (which are both good things), these things are really just vehicles to help our girls experience the Lord.

The most important thing we can do in preparation for our girls deepening their relationship with the Lord is to pray for them. Sometimes it can be hard to find time to pray and to even really know what to pray. Here are some ideas for creative ways to pray for your girls.

Multi-task. As much as it would be nice to be able to set aside an hour a day for prayer for your girls, it’s probably not realistic. Any amount of time that you can set aside to pray specifically for your girls is invaluable. It’s also important to make the best use of your time. Pray while you’re driving, fixing dinner, or cleaning up the house. Personally, I’ve had some of my most memorable and effective times of prayer while I’m doing other tasks that don’t require much additional thought. I love to put on some worship music and spend time with the Lord while I’m organizing my junk drawer or cleaning the kitchen.

Be Aware. Taking prayer requests is a great way to stay up-to-date on what’s going on in your girls’ lives. Sometimes they’ll be willing to request prayer for something they wouldn’t normally share with the group. It’s also good to be aware of your girls’ school and athletic schedules. Pray for your girls when you know they’re approaching finals or a big game. It will mean a lot to them to know that you’re praying for them in the things that are important in their lives.

Pray in the Spirit. Allow yourself to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes He will bring a girl to mind who is in need of prayer. Take time to pray for her. If you pray in the Spirit, do that. Pray for the Lord’s protection and guidance for her. When you see her again, let her know that you felt led to pray for her. This could be an incredible testimony of the Holy Spirit’s guidance to pray for her during a critical time. At the very least, she’ll know you care enough to pray for her outside of church.

Pray Scripture. One of the most effective ways to pray for others (and ourselves) is to pray through the Scripture. A favorite passage of mine to pray is Ephesians 3:16-19 (NIV), “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

My prayer for each one of you who lead or parent teen girls is from Ephesians 1:17-19 (NIV), “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”

I had the opportunity to speak this weekend in my home state –
Iowa! We nearly had to take a boat ride to get to the campgrounds, but we made it and it was worth the effort!

I spoke at the Iowa Girls Ministries Powette. There were about 300 girls there ranging from third- to twelfth-grade.

Despite the floods and torrential rain falling in other parts of the state, we were thankful to have blue skies and fair weather throughout the event.

In a lot of ways, it was like coming home. I can mark a lot of my own spiritual growth around the altars at this campground. I was crowned on that very stage in 1996. Coincidentally, that crowning marks the half-way marker in my life so far. (I was crowned 12 years ago and I was 12 when I was crowned.) I had the opportunity to make new friends, and it was good to see many familiar faces there, too. I got to see my own Stars sponsor and children’s pastor.

Me with my sponsor Ginger.

Me with Pastor Laurie.

I am so thankful for these women who invested in my spiritual development in such a crucial time in my life.

Recently, I had the opportunity to look through some of my mom’s old journals.  She kept record of some of the funny things and milestones in my growing up years.  Apparently, some of my favorite phrases as a child were,  “This is worthless,” and “That’s so depressing.”  I was an optimistic little girl.

As I was perusing the journal, I discovered my mom’s perspective on the only spanking I remember getting as a child:

I had gotten a tricycle for one of my birthdays.  It was beautiful.  It was dark blue and had glorious flowing blue and white streamers on the handlebars. 

When my parents decided I was old enough to graduate from doing circles around our back patio to riding on the actual sidewalk in front of our house, my mom created boundaries.  Our house was on the corner, so she used masking tape to mark off the area from the end of our sidewalk down to the start of our neighbor’s driveway.  This was practically a half-marathon to my stubby little three-year-old legs, but it was not nearly enough for me to ride freely.  I wanted to feel the wind in my hair and ride the open road!

One day, my dad was out doing yard work and keeping an eye on me as I pedaled with reckless abandon from one tape mark to the other and back again.  I decided it was time to stretch the boundaries.  My dad hadn’t been around and I thought maybe my dad didn’t know about the tape, yet.  I carefully and deliberately pedaled past the masking tape border and onto my neighbor’s driveway.  Freedom!  I felt like a regular Amelia Earhart (or at least I would have had I known who she was).

I turned around and confidently pedaled past my dad.  I figured if I pretended to not be guilty, he might not notice me.  Unfortunately, my dad had eyes like a hawk and reminded me of the importance (and reality) of the boundaries.

I turned around mumbling to myself as I rode.  I decided to show him that riding past the boundaries wasn’t as dangerous as he thought.  I self-assuredly journeyed across the border yet again.  This time, my dad had been watching.  He blocked my path as I turned around.  He warned me in his most stern daddy voice that if I took my tricycle past the border again that there would surely be a spanking in my future. 

This was shocking.  He’d never threatened this thing called “spanking” before.  I decided to find out if he was bluffing.  I rode to the corner, turned around and deliberately picked up momentum.  I turned around to make sure he was watching and pedaled right past the border and rapidly decided I might have made the wrong decision, so I’d just ride as far as I could until he caught me.  I had hardly reached the other side of the driveway before he had me in one arm, picking up my beloved blue tricycle with the other. 

He said, “Ashley, what did you just do?”

I replied, “I rode my trike…past the tape.”

“Do you know what I have to do now?”

I wasn’t completely sure what “spanking” meant, but I knew it certainly couldn’t be good, so I ventured a guess, “Take me back and get another little girl.”

My dad reassured me that I was the only little girl he wanted, but let me know that I had disobeyed and that there would be consequences.  More than 20 years have passed since that fateful day and my dad was on the verge of tears as he recounted this part of the story from his perspective. 

I realized that the Lord’s discipline is very much the same.  How often do we think to ourselves “Maybe He won’t notice,” “I’ll just show Him this isn’t as dangerous as He thinks it is,” or “The consequences can’t be that bad,” only to find ourselves moments later repenting and expecting to be immune from the consequences. 

Hebrews 12:7-11 (NIV) says, “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?  If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”So thanks, Dad, for loving me enough to discipline me.  Happy Father’s Day!

With the temperatures rising and the warm summer breezes blowing, sometimes we become more sensitive to certain aromas. That’s right: B.O.

I can certainly remember the first summer I realized that I was blossoming into a beautiful flower – that had a very, um, distinct aroma. What happened? The summer before, I could play outside to my heart’s content and smell the same, but now, it seemed like I didn’t even have to do anything active to start smelling like a sweaty onion! I was pretty traumatized when my mom put the first pale pink stick of deodorant on my dresser and told me it was time to start using it. Growing up is complicated!

Many of your girls may be experiencing this for the first time this summer. It can be a pretty sensitive subject to address, but somebody’s got to do it. Many of your girls simply may not know that it’s time to start taking steps to prevent having this air about them. If you suspect some of your girls aren’t getting the hygiene message at home, it may be time to have a heart-to-heart with your girls.

Sometimes all it takes is generally mentioning the wonderful miracle that is the deodorant stick. Just a general word at the beginning of a club meeting or small group session letting the girls know that it’s important to take a shower every day during the summer and apply deodorant. Let the girls know that sometimes during the summer, they may want to apply deodorant more than once a day.

If you’re hosting a spa night or talking about hair care, this would be a good time to mention the importance of bathing and using deodorant, too. If you’re already talking about eyebrow plucking, it might feel a little less awkward to talk to your girls about general hygiene.

Some girls may not be able to afford deodorant or may be embarrassed to ask parents to buy it. Be aware of this. Some families are struggling to keep food on the table, so deodorant and toothpaste could be a luxury. Pick up a couple of extras the next time you’re at the store to have on hand for such occasions. Your church probably has a fund to help with these kinds of expenses, so you may check with your pastor or youth pastor before you stock up. Help girls talk to their parents about their new needs.

Unfortunately, other times it’s just not that simple. Some girls may not pick up the general message. Adolescence is rough. It’s even rougher if you haven’t quite mastered the art of hygiene. You may need to take some girls aside to talk to them one-to-one. Be careful to approach her out of love. Have a few supplies ready when you talk to her to ensure that she has the tools needed to implement your suggestions. Share a personal experience about your own adolescence and realizing that you needed to use deodorant.

Have a pleasant smelling summer!

Isn’t technology great? With the ease of composing an email, we have the opportunity to communicate with thousands of people at a time. I check the Facebook and MySpace pages of the girls in my small group regularly just to see what’s going on in their lives. Technology allows us to spread information rapidly and efficiently. Everything is quick and simple – most of the time.

However, due to my recent entry into the blogosphere, I’ve been thinking a lot about the very real possibilities for disaster associated with this quick and easy form of communication. One misplaced keystroke or word omitted could have potentially devastating results. To quote Peter Parker (aka Spiderman), “With great power comes great responsibility.”

I thought I’d take an opportunity to pose a few simple guidelines for technological etiquette.

Don’t type anything you wouldn’t say. Sometimes the anonymity that the cyberworld allows us causes us to be bolder (or ruder) than we would be in person-to-person interaction. In actuality, things that we write or type can last much longer than things we speak. If you (better yet – Jesus) wouldn’t say it, then don’t type or text it.

Proofread. Read through comments, emails, blogs, etc., not only to check for typos, but also to ensure you’re saying exactly what you mean and you’re communicating clearly. Keep in mind that things you type don’t carry the same voice inflection or body language that you are able to use to communicate in face-to-face interaction. Remember: TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS EQUIVALENT TO YELLING IN NORMAL SPEECH.

Don’t respond while you’re angry. If you receive a message that upsets you, log off the computer, go outside, take a walk, read a book, take a moment to pray, then come back and respond. Once you send an email out of anger, you can’t take it back.

Log off from time to time. Sending an email can be quick and simple, but emailing, instant messaging, or text messaging (don’t get me started on cell phone etiquette) will never be as personal as sending an encouraging note through the snail mail, meeting someone for face-to-face conversation over lunch, or even picking up the phone and having a conversation. The computer is great, but sometimes I miss having actual conversations. Take some time to step away from the computer and have an actual conversation with another human being.

Blog ≠ Journal. Your blog should not be your personal journal. What you post can be read by just about anyone. Blogs are a great place to share thoughts and feelings, which can be very encouraging for others going through similar circumstances, but don’t post anything you wouldn’t be comfortable being sharing in normal conversation. There is such a thing as being too transparent. Be cautious about mentioning other people in your blog. The other people in your life may not be as exuberant as you are to share every detail of your personal life with the world.

Now, let’s go and make the cyberworld a better place!

I had the opportunity to go home to Iowa this weekend to watch my little brother (who now has at least 8 inches on me) walk across the stage in his cap and gown.  We had a great time with family and friends celebrating his graduation from high school.

And now he’s looking forward.

I remember how I felt when I graduated from high school.  All I could see were opportunities.  The anxiety of moving to a new city 450 miles away from home to attend college was overshadowed by the excitement of new friends, new experiences, and boundless possibilities in front of me.

Looking back, I realize that I probably should have been a little more intimidated.  Statistics suggest that as many as 70 to 80 percent of kids from Christian homes aren’t serving the Lord after their time in college.  In my own life, I’ve watched friends lose motivation in their relationship with the Lord as they become more and more motivated by new experiences, freedom, and even academic pursuits.

I attended a great Christian university and had a wonderful experience.  I made incredible friends, had a lot of fun, and learned inside and outside the classroom.  When I graduated, I had claimed ownership of a faith that was my own and no longer inherited from my family, but I certainly experienced times of spiritual testing and trying along the way.
We as leaders are not doomed to stand by and watch our girls become part of this 70 to 80 percent.   There are a few things we can do as we partner with parents to help our girls emerge as mature Christian women.

Church visit.  When your girls go on college visits, find some churches for them to visit while they’re there.  Finding a church can seem a little ominous when there’s already so much new going on.  Visiting a church for the first time with parents or youth leaders can make a huge difference.

Make connections.  Do a little research and find some churches in the area near where your girls will be attending college.  Call the churches and make connection with the young adult pastor or leader.  Churches will generally welcome college students with open arms.  Many already have “adopt-a-student” programs in place.  If the pastor knows to look for your students, your girls will be less likely to slip through the cracks.  A list of Assemblies of God Young Adult Pastors is available at http://youngadults.ag.org/top/groups/.  Even when on a Christian campus, getting involved in a church is really important.  Church involvement helps girls feel a sense of community that will help prevent homesickness and loneliness during that tough first semester.

Find a group.  Especially for girls heading off to state universities or secular colleges, finding a Christian group on campus will be integral.  A list of Chi Alpha groups is available at http://chialpha.com/connect/locator/.  There’s strength in numbers, and having a strong relationship with the Lord on a secular campus is no exception.

Talk about it.  Don’t use these statistics as scare tactics for your girls, but let them know about the challenges ahead of them.  Knowing what the battle looks like before they head into it can help them formulate a plan.  Let the girls know that there won’t be anyone there reminding them to do their devotions, to wake them up to go to church on Sunday mornings, or to check up on them after a date.  It’s important to help girls develop discipline to do these things on their own.

Stay in touch.  This may seem like a given, but it’s so encouraging to keep receiving those phone calls, notes, and care packages.  It’s good for girls to know that someone besides their parents cares about their spiritual well-being.  Don’t be afraid to ask those nagging questions either.  During my time in college, it always seemed that I received these calls or notes on the days I most needed them.  Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you as you continue to invest in these girls.

Over the weekend, I went to the mall (which really should not come as a shock to anyone, given my love for the retail arts). As I walked the corridor, I was rudely awakened to the fact that summer is coming. And with this new season, modesty is apparently taking a vacation.

Despite the chilly, rainy weather outside, all I saw indoors were girls dressed in itty-bitty shorts and low cut tank tops. Window displays showcased skimpy suits and skirts that look like they should fit a toddler. I actually started to dread the coming summer months.

In hopes that modesty doesn’t have to be absent everywhere, I’d like to encourage each of you to take time to remind your girls about the importance of dressing modestly. Here are a few ideas:

• Go shopping. 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5 (NIV) says, “That each of you should learn to control his [or her] own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.” The problem is that we shop at the same stores as the heathen. Unless we all start making our own clothes (which is a viable option) we’re still going to have to shop at the mall. So, why not take a trip to the mall and show the girls how to shop with modesty in mind. If you find yourself to be a little trend-challenged, enlist the help of an older girl who consistently dresses modestly.

• Make it clear. Sometimes, girls just aren’t aware of the boundaries for modesty. At the beginning of the summer, it doesn’t hurt to let girls know what’s expected (specifically for church/church events). Make sure you address it from a loving standpoint without making any girls feel singled out.

• Demonstrate. Have girls choose some of their favorite modest outfits to wear in a fashion show. Have fun with it. This could be incorporated in a sleepover or retreat. Consider inviting a special speaker to come in and talk to the girls about the importance of modesty and purity.

• Call for backup. Invite a male pastor or youth pastor to talk to the girls. Recently, our youth pastor came and talked with our girls. We called it “Everything a Christian Girl Ever Needed to Know from a Christian Guy Who Isn’t Her Dad or Brother.” We let the girls ask questions. Sometimes it helps just to have the things female leaders say repeated by a male leader. (A couple of weeks later, the female leaders did the same with the guys small group. We had a lot of fun. I was pleasantly surprised by some of the questions the boys asked.)

OK, I’m starting to look forward to summer again.